So I have been thinking a lot since Wednesday. I got home from Chili's and I had a message from Eric that I had to accept. I don't know if it is a new IM or if its an old one I just thought he stopped using (so I took it off?). It just said something along the lines of wishing we talked more, it totally saddened me. I remember driving him home one night and pulling up to the red light in the center of town when he said, "Some day we will be really good friends." I remember joking about it because we were really good friend, and it seemed like we always would be. I think I still consider him my best friend 1) because he truly was the best friend I had ever had and 2) because 'best friends' jinx every relationship I have ever had.
I wonder what would have happened if I didn't go to college or if I had commuted-would we still be tight. I also wonder what would happpen if he didn't move or date Lori-because both of those seemed to start our demise.
It just hurts so much to care for someone you never see. My friends can't understand it beacuse most of them have never met him. (not that I like that kinda thing, when my lives mix) I don't ever have recent stories or memorabilia. Remember that day I "gave birth" to Diana and I found "it's a girl" stuff all over my car? You never saw him but you saw the balloon and you laughed at the thought....
I do wish we were closer, I do wish we talked all the time. I miss just about everything about him... My life was really good when we were together, and now it is crap-I can't help but thing there is a connection.

Straight up, what did you hope to learn about here
If I were someone else, would this all fall apart
Strange, where were you, when we started this gig,
I wish the real world, would just stop hassling me
Please don't change, please don't break
The only thing that seems to work at all is you
Please don't change, at all from me
To you, and you to me