I had the most terrible morning in the world today but then Jamma showed me the most spectacular dress I have ever seen and "Twist and Shout" got stuck in my head-it wasn't such a bad day. But I have had a lot of time to think in the past couple of hours and it makes me sad where my life has gone. Is it wrong that I wish I didn't get into college, or at least have a firmer grasp on politics before throwing my life away to the DOE? Is it wrong that I wonder what would have happened if I spent more time with Sabrina and Danielle and less time studying? Yes I would probably be a drug addict with 5 kids living off welfare-but chances are I would be a cashier in a supermarket and that seems all too familiar. Is it wrong that every moment seems wasted without someone I lost long ago? Is it wrong that I dwell on it so much? Yes, I know it is- Krazy is right to say "no regrets" but I can't do anything now. I wonder what would happen if I went to more parties Freshman year and if I didn't come home on weekends. I wonder what would happened if I tried pot-even once. I wonder what would happen if I knew then what I would be now- it pains me to even think about it but it is true. I don't see myself beloning anywhere. I don't see myself in 5 years, I can barely believe I made it this far. What would have happened? But I will end this-again remembering the words of Karen- No Regrets....and I don't even want to think about it... maybe taht is why I typed it all out, so that I could clear my thoughts....
and as always MB20 says it best: reach down your hand in your pocket pull out some hope for me it’s been a long day, always ain’t that right and no Lord your hand won’t stop it just keep you trembling it’s been a long day, always ain’t that right